Re-Connecting After Trauma

Re-Connecting After Trauma

Re-connecting with yourself and the relationships you had before your trauma can be scary. It can be challenging to find joy in things we once enjoyed and the people we once loved and trusted. If not treated, trauma can have long-lasting effects that devastate our mental health and future. The hardest thing to do is face what we have been through. Once we overcome this part, we can work on making healthier connections and building trust.

Trauma Changes Our Perception

The traumatic events we have encountered can significantly impact our thoughts, as trauma affects the brain. Our thought process becomes more defensive and can also cause suppression of our memories. The trustworthy, loving person we once were slowly fades away.

Our views on environments that once felt safe don’t feel safe anymore. These perceptions make it difficult for people to help us because the trauma we have experienced has caused fear and uncertainty. Trauma can set us back from our goals in life. Getting the help we need to work through our trauma can help us have a positive vision of what our life can be.

Love and Support Before and After Trauma

Accepting love and support is a key component needed to heal. After we experience traumatic events, we can feel lonely and confused. If we talk about the trauma that occurred, how will that make us look? Will this be seen as a weakness? We may also feel shame or embarrassment if we have kept ourselves in situations that we knew were traumatic. Then we fear the “I told you so!” factor.

However, not everyone who cares about us will react this way. We need to welcome all the love and support that comes our way. This is an essential part of healing. Allowing ourselves to be brave and face the opinions of others will build more love and confidence in ourselves.

The Connection Between Trauma and Substance Use Disorder

Trauma affects people of all ages and can begin as early as conception. Traumatic events can cause sadness. Sadness often leads to depression and isolation; eventually, we do not want to feel those emotions. Using alcohol and/or drugs can feel like a solution to these feelings.

However, using substances is only a temporary solution. Constant use of alcohol or drugs to mask the feelings associated with trauma increases the risk of substance use disorders (SUDs).

Managing Trauma

Substance abuse does not have to be the only way to deal with trauma. There are different ways to manage trauma that will promote a healthy, happy life.

Finding the Strength in Your Trauma

A familiar saying states, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Being able to overcome your trauma means having resilience. This can make all the difference.

No one enjoys being trapped in their trauma. Carrying our negative experiences can prevent us from moving forward in life. Positive ways to build strength include facing your feelings. Lean on someone you trust. Engage in activities that promote self-care. Be patient with yourself.

Accepting Your Trauma

When we have taken the time to heal from our trauma, we realize that our trauma does not go away. What we discover is that we now accept our trauma without judgment or guilt. When we accept our trauma, we:

  • Develop compassion for ourselves when we face difficult situations
  • Become aware of our strengths
  • Enjoy our lives with no shame or guilt
  • Move past the memories and onto the hope we have for our future.

When we find help for our trauma, we welcome new perspectives into our lives.

Building Stronger Relationships After Trauma

Re-building long-lasting relationships can cause us to be hesitant. After all, we may not feel very safe around anyone anymore. For example, if you are in a domestic partnership with someone, your trauma can affect all aspects of your relationship, from trust to arousal.

However, now that we are ready to face this beautiful life head-on, we will need to remember a few things. Having strong connections and relationships with people will require self-reflection and work. A few components we need to rebuild healthy relationships include communication, trustworthiness, and confidence.

Positive Choices Over Trauma

The choices we make daily will be an essential part of moving past our trauma and integrating back into daily life. Getting back to work, school, social events, and even being around our own family can be difficult. However, we must get up every day and choose to give this day a fresh start.

Find the positive in all situations. Give yourself a chance to socialize, to be happy, and to meet new people. You deserve to be a better you. The number one person in your life is you. You don’t have to allow trauma to take over your life.


When we undergo traumatic experiences, it can feel like we are the only ones experiencing these things. However, there are many people experiencing traumatic events every day. There are also many people who overcome their trauma. Your past does not have to define who you are. It may be difficult to share some of the things that we have experienced. Trauma touches everyone differently. Brazos Recovery will give you or your loved one a comfortable, safe environment to heal from their trauma. At Brazos Recovery, we offer a wide variety of individualized programs that help people recover from trauma and its effects. Discover what our program can do for you. Call Brazos Recovery today at (254) 232-1550.

Medically Reviewed: September 25, 2019

Dr Ashley

Medical Reviewer

Chief Editor


All of the information on this page has been reviewed and verified by a certified addiction professional.

Dr Ashley Murray obtained her MBBCh Cum Laude in 2016. She currently practices in the public domain in South Africa. She has an interest in medical writing and has a keen interest in evidence-based medicine.

All of the information on this page has been reviewed and verified by a certified addiction professional.