What to Do When Your Parent Is an Addict: A Guide for Families
In some case-scenarios, the moment it was proved that a close member, either parent, had an addiction problem, burden fully fell upon the family’s shoulder. Addiction can have great and serious impacts on the lives of the addict and, of course, those around them. There is emotional distress within families, financial instability, and disturbance in relationships. It is thus so important to consider the issue of recovery as a process not only for the addict but equally for the family. The process of healing involves thinking differently for the family, communicating more effectively, and intentionally choosing to balance their lives.
It may be a harsh reality, but with addiction entering into the life of a parent, it need not be an isolated struggle. Help and support can make all the difference and are there for the addict as much as for you.
The Importance of Understanding Addiction
However, addiction is not an issue of willpower or morality; it is a disease. Knowing this can help go a long way in coping with a parent’s addiction. When they hurt you, remember that their addiction overrides their willpower to a great extent and the ability to make good decisions.
When your parent says or does something hurtful through their addiction, it is easy to take things personally. Patience and understanding of how the disease drove them go a long way in protecting your emotional well-being. A compassionate perspective toward your parent can be an asset in the process of easing hurt feelings of anger, frustration, or betrayal.
Coping with an Addict in the Family: Seven Ways Out
Addiction is a disease.
The first step to coping with a parent’s addiction is realizing it for what it is-a disease. This can help lift the burden of feeling like you need to control or fix it. Addiction is not something you can solve for them. Accepting this will help you to release feelings of powerlessness and focus on what you can control-your own responses and well-being.
Breaking Negative Patterns
Most families develop unhealthy habits through the process of trying to deal with addiction. Sometimes, it means enabling the addict’s behaviors, or at other times it may involve suppressing your emotions. Such habits stand in the way of recovery both for your parent and the family. The most important thing is being reflective, especially about yourself, looking at your behaviors and seeing if there is anything you are engaging in unconsciously that helps perpetuate the addictive cycle. These patterns could be very difficult to change; breaking them is where long-lasting change will be achieved.
Take Care of Yourself
When you’re living with a parent who has an addiction problem, it’s very easy to take on his/her needs and forget your own. But your physical and mental health is just as important, and making time for self-care-exercise, eating right, time alone-can rejuvenate you for those times when mom or dad needs you.
Building Self-Esteem and Self-Worth
It is easy for family members to feel that they are somehow responsible for their loved one’s addiction. You might wonder if you could have been more supportive or had said something different to somehow alter the course of events. But clinical addiction is not your fault remember that. Do not attach your self-worth with this recovery process. You are not defined by their struggles, neither is your value defined by their addiction.
Emotion Management
Anger, frustration, sadness, and resentment are all normal feelings when one is living with a loved one with addiction. These feelings can be valid, but learning how to manage such feelings in healthier ways is paramount. Exercise, journaling, or talking with a trusted friend or therapist can be healthy ways to process your feelings. This can prevent these feelings from festering and causing further damage to well-being and relationships.
Development of Response Plan
A plan for dealing with the worst can bring order to chaos: what you would do if your parent relapsed or during heated arguments. An example of a response plan may include listing what boundaries you would set to maintain some sense of safety with Mom or Dad, identifying whom to contact if there is an immediate need, or role-playing how you would handle hot moments. Knowing what to do ahead of time often helps to calm you and make decent choices in the worst heat of the moment.
Finding Assistance and Support
One of the important things to do is to find support for yourself. Contact with other families who have gone through similar experiences may be comforting, guiding, and advising on practical issues. Find support groups, therapy, or online communities in which you share your feelings and learn from others. You don’t have to handle this on your own; there are those who know and can help you cope.
Conclusion
Living with a parent’s addiction is indeed very tough, yet balance and healing are possible. Addiction is a disease; breaking those unhealthy patterns, practicing self-care, and seeking support enable one to survive such ordeals. You may not be in control of your parent’s recovery, but you can make sure to take care of your own emotional needs along the way.
Recovery is a long and difficult process, but the right approach will have your parent and family healed in time. If more help is needed or is called for, by all means, seek the professional services one may need.
Reach out today and get help for your loved one
If you find it hard to bear and want professional intervention to help a parent with an addiction problem, seek therapists, counselors, or addiction professionals such as Brazos recovery that can help you get through this tough time.
Medically Reviewed: September 25, 2019
All of the information on this page has been reviewed and verified by a certified addiction professional.